Time for a rant.
Rant for people who are so detached from real life that they don't know their own address.
Rant for people who are so filthy rich that they can't see beyond their perfect world.
Rant for people who think that us, honest workers who serve them, are their slaves and not real human beings.
I am talking of course about a category of customers who come, ruin my day and go back to their meaningless lives.
Case Study No 1: The Ignorant Billionaire.
Me: Hello, how can I help you today?
TIB: I would like to know how much I've got on my card
Me: Of course. Could you please confirm your name and current address?
TIB: My name is XXXX.
Me: And your address?
TIB: Erm... which one? I have many...
Me: The one you submitted when you registered.
TIB: Switzerland?
Me: No
TIB: Monaco?
Me: No
TIB: Saudi Arabia?
Me: No. To help you, in the UK.
TIB: In Belgravia?
Me: Could you confirm your full address please?
TIB: .......................SW1
Me: Sorry madam, I need the full address
TIB: I don't remember! (irritated) I've got so many....!
Me: Could you please confirm your date of birth then?
TIB: I'm not going to tell you my date of birth!
Me: It's right there in front of me. For security reasons you need to confirm it.
TIB: (confirms D.O.B. behind gritted teeth) You shouldn't ask these questions. they're private.
Me: Here is your balance madam. Anything else I can do for you today?
TIB: There, was that so difficult? Why do you ask all these questions?
Me: Because, how would you like if I would divulge this information to someone else? We have to make sure it is you that asks questions about this account.
TIB: Of course it's me? Who else would it be?
Me: :O :S :X :) (jaw drops, frowns, says nothing, smiles...) Thank you! Have a lovely day!
Case Study 2: The Filthy Rich Complainer
Yesterday I was in charge of emails. We received an email from a customer, who in a nutshell (her email was five paragraphs!) said the following:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to complain that you sent me a statement on the 31/12/10 showing that I had 50000 points, giving me £500. When I came to spend them last week, they were not there. If you don't rectify this mistake, I will never shop in your store again.
In which I replied:
Dear Madam
According to our records, you spent your points on the 1/1/11, one day after this statement was issued. You used them in the Ladieswear department for a transaction of £4,800. Sincerely....etc.
I mean, come on! If I had bought something for £4,800 in one transaction and used £500 off my loyalty points, I would remember it, right? But some people are so filthy rich they don't care how much they spend and they don't even remember.
Case Study 3: The Ironic One
Some people don't realise that business have their own rules. Our loyalty program is a little bit complicated and we remind our customers of the rules in every communication. One of the rules is to bring in their receipts on the same day of purchase if they want their points added. That's the rule, a bit harsh I know, but there are reasons behind it, but we are quite flexible and add receipts from all times, as long as they are from the same year.
A lady came to me today with receipts from 27th of December 2010. That's not only a month ago, but from the previous year. I mention it to the customer, I inform her that she now will be able to use the points the following year because she missed out on the automatic conversion of the points which happens at the end of the year and she gets all grumpy!
TIO: What? Next year? What sort of stupid program is that?
Me: thinking (It's the same one you signed for when you registered for our card. But do you ever read our communication? Do ya? No, of course you don't)
Don't worry, madam. I will add them for you so you get your points. They will be added on to this year's points.
I complete the transaction, asking her how she's been, being polite, calm, smiley, professional.
At the end I thank her and she sort of thanks me with a grunt, and you know what she said?
"Thanks! You'll see me again next year!!!"
Meaning, "I'll do what I want, I will not follow your stupid rules and I will bust your balls for eternity".
Suits you, then. You're the one who would have to wait for a whole year to use her points.
And these are only 3 of the thousands of lovely custys we have every day. I have told my teammates that we should all gather our stories and write a book!
More to come, stay tuned.
Thursday 27 January 2011
Monday 24 January 2011
Turbulent Week
It has been a turbulent week and I wanted to blog about it but I couldn't, what with the family around and their noses poking everywhere...
Where should I begin? Ah...yes!
The laptop incident.
Before the family arrived I put a password on my laptop so they wouldn't be able to go in to it and read this stuff and what I've written about them etc. while I was at work.
The first day my nephew was at home on his own (he brings his own Macbook, I've got a Dell laptop) I receive a text message from him ''what is your laptop password because my charger doesn't work and my laptop's battery died''.
Fat chance. I had to protect myself and prevent family and colleagues and anyone else I write about, from reading this blog! This is why I come here to rant, because I can't say it to their faces, so they should never read this.
So I called him....and I lied! I pretended that I didn't know how the hell my laptop all of a sudden had a password, as I never set one up myself. Thankfully, my nephew, as progressive, smart and modernised he is, he is not as computer literate as his evil auntie!
Therefore, he bought the lie! I told him I will look into it when I get home, which I did and continued the big lie by telling him an obscure story that I did a system restore and my laptop went back to its original settings with an old passport which I found written in some old notebook. The sweetie nephew believed it and I felt horribly for lying to him, but I also felt relieved. So while him and my sister were here I cleared my bookmarks and my history and didn't come near this place at all. Oh, how I missed it! I only tweeted from my Blackberry and that was it.
So the sister arrived Sunday afternoon after I spent the whole day licking the house literally, I waited for her at the station for an hour. I was glad to see her but I knew what was coming. Don't get me wrong, I adore my sister, we get along very very well, she's always been there for me, we laugh a lot, we have the same sense of humour, but she is very demanding and completely opposite of what I am and stand for. I am more relaxed, artistic, literary, a bit aloof sometimes, approachable and flexible. She has a closed personality, she always had very wealthy friends, which made her live or want to live the high life with less than half the money her friends have. She has a in-house maid which means that she expects to find the same standards when she comes to my house, but she doesn't realise that I work all day and have limited hours to clean, go to the supermarket and do my chores on my day off. Which concludes on her being a pain when she is here... 'you have to do this', 'you have to do that', 'this needs changing', 'your walls need painting over' etc.
When she came in she turned on ALL the lights, because she can't look at dark places, she wanted to watch the Golden Globes and, I'm sorry but my block of flats doesn't allow satellite dishes so I don't have Sky, so she sort of told me off for living here (!!!), she asked me to remove half of my clothes from my closet so she could fit hers (she brought two suitcases for a week!!!) and found the house impressionably clean but she said it still needed a lot of work (????!!!). This makes me sound like I am a dirty sloth, but honestly, the house was very clean, C-L-E-A-N!!! How much cleaner can I house be? I'm telling you she's obsessed.
But all of the above are nothing in comparison to her spending money. She spends uncontrollably, with no second thought and with no realisation that this is not extra money, but the little money her small business makes just to make ends meet. Two years ago she nearly went bankrupt and it was very difficult to stand on her feet again with the economic crisis, and that even didn't teach her a lesson. Ever since her son came to the UK to study she's been in London THREE times! That's three times in four months!!!
And there's always an excuse. First time it was to help my nephew settling in in the University. Fair enough. The second time it was with no reason, just hopped on a plane on a Friday afternoon and nearly gave me a heart attack because of course I had only two hours to air and clean the house before she would come. This time it was an exhibition to buy things for her store. She only went to this exhibition for one afternoon and for the rest of the week it was just spend, spend, spend and MORE spend!!!!
She would take a black cab most of the times, while most of us, normal people, would go on the bus or underground. But she was always 'feeling sick', 'too tired', 'too cold' and I live 'too far away' from the centre so we must hurry to catch the last train. We are talking about £15-20 cab rides each time.
And then there's the water. She would buy mineral water to drink, while the water from the tap is perfectly pure and safe. I told her this and she agreed, but still, I caught her buying water again... Pound coins scattered here and there...It broke my heart.
She was ready to buy a new charger for her son's laptop (that's about £60), when I reminded them that the Macbook was still under warrantee but the silly boy hadn't brought it with him, so someone has to email it to them. They still haven't done it...
As she would criticise me about everything, I tried to put a bit of sense into her mind about the spending, but she would stop me. So it was ok for her to scrutinise me about all the details in my life but if I wanted to give her my two cents about her relentless spending I had to shut up. Well, as I am a person who knows how to shut up and not create a scene, that's what I did but I am worried and unless we win the lottery I won't stop worrying.
Now for the good things:
Where should I begin? Ah...yes!
The laptop incident.
Before the family arrived I put a password on my laptop so they wouldn't be able to go in to it and read this stuff and what I've written about them etc. while I was at work.
The first day my nephew was at home on his own (he brings his own Macbook, I've got a Dell laptop) I receive a text message from him ''what is your laptop password because my charger doesn't work and my laptop's battery died''.
Fat chance. I had to protect myself and prevent family and colleagues and anyone else I write about, from reading this blog! This is why I come here to rant, because I can't say it to their faces, so they should never read this.
So I called him....and I lied! I pretended that I didn't know how the hell my laptop all of a sudden had a password, as I never set one up myself. Thankfully, my nephew, as progressive, smart and modernised he is, he is not as computer literate as his evil auntie!
Therefore, he bought the lie! I told him I will look into it when I get home, which I did and continued the big lie by telling him an obscure story that I did a system restore and my laptop went back to its original settings with an old passport which I found written in some old notebook. The sweetie nephew believed it and I felt horribly for lying to him, but I also felt relieved. So while him and my sister were here I cleared my bookmarks and my history and didn't come near this place at all. Oh, how I missed it! I only tweeted from my Blackberry and that was it.
So the sister arrived Sunday afternoon after I spent the whole day licking the house literally, I waited for her at the station for an hour. I was glad to see her but I knew what was coming. Don't get me wrong, I adore my sister, we get along very very well, she's always been there for me, we laugh a lot, we have the same sense of humour, but she is very demanding and completely opposite of what I am and stand for. I am more relaxed, artistic, literary, a bit aloof sometimes, approachable and flexible. She has a closed personality, she always had very wealthy friends, which made her live or want to live the high life with less than half the money her friends have. She has a in-house maid which means that she expects to find the same standards when she comes to my house, but she doesn't realise that I work all day and have limited hours to clean, go to the supermarket and do my chores on my day off. Which concludes on her being a pain when she is here... 'you have to do this', 'you have to do that', 'this needs changing', 'your walls need painting over' etc.
When she came in she turned on ALL the lights, because she can't look at dark places, she wanted to watch the Golden Globes and, I'm sorry but my block of flats doesn't allow satellite dishes so I don't have Sky, so she sort of told me off for living here (!!!), she asked me to remove half of my clothes from my closet so she could fit hers (she brought two suitcases for a week!!!) and found the house impressionably clean but she said it still needed a lot of work (????!!!). This makes me sound like I am a dirty sloth, but honestly, the house was very clean, C-L-E-A-N!!! How much cleaner can I house be? I'm telling you she's obsessed.
Next, she would go on about my personal appearance: my clothes, my hair, my teeth (while she had braces put on when she was younger I hadn't because of course we could only afford for one back then and of course her teeth were more important than mine, so mine are a bit crooked), now she says 'I have to save money to put braces on'!!!!
I can't complaint though, she paid for my haircut and it looks good, but the scrutiny and the constant criticising never stopped!
And there's always an excuse. First time it was to help my nephew settling in in the University. Fair enough. The second time it was with no reason, just hopped on a plane on a Friday afternoon and nearly gave me a heart attack because of course I had only two hours to air and clean the house before she would come. This time it was an exhibition to buy things for her store. She only went to this exhibition for one afternoon and for the rest of the week it was just spend, spend, spend and MORE spend!!!!
And then there's the water. She would buy mineral water to drink, while the water from the tap is perfectly pure and safe. I told her this and she agreed, but still, I caught her buying water again... Pound coins scattered here and there...It broke my heart.
She was ready to buy a new charger for her son's laptop (that's about £60), when I reminded them that the Macbook was still under warrantee but the silly boy hadn't brought it with him, so someone has to email it to them. They still haven't done it...
As she would criticise me about everything, I tried to put a bit of sense into her mind about the spending, but she would stop me. So it was ok for her to scrutinise me about all the details in my life but if I wanted to give her my two cents about her relentless spending I had to shut up. Well, as I am a person who knows how to shut up and not create a scene, that's what I did but I am worried and unless we win the lottery I won't stop worrying.
Now for the good things:
- We had a fabulous day together on my day off, we went to the hair salon and had our hair and nails done.
- We went to Somerset House and looked at some amazing paintings and we cultured ourselves!
- It was nice having company at home at night, we would sit and watch DVD's and talk and laugh, I really liked that.
Now that I'm back I will write more often, as I will certainly remember more details to write about my turbulent week.
For now it's goodnight and a very warm WELCOME to my first follower, FranceRants!
Saturday 15 January 2011
The Weak End Is Here!
Hello World!!!
It's Saturday night, and while London is swinging and buzzing, I am home alone with my laptop, in my very clean house ready to rant.
The story of the laundry continued yesterday morning, when it was around 7:55 and my laundry hadn't arrived yet. On the laundry's card there were 3 mobile phone numbers so I decided to dial the first one. Immediately I was greeted by Ray. I wanted to ask him if he found out whether the other lady had confessed that she had indeed company on Wednesday night, but I opted-in to just give him my name and explain the situation.
He recognised me and informed me that the delivery guy has been waiting outside the block of flats, not knowing which door to ring for half an hour, as the Laundry Idiot hadn't written down my flat number.
Why was I not surprised? I ran to the window and saw him waiting outside, so I buzzed him in. I finally got my laundry back and I gave him the money which was £25, but I had only £30 on me.
- Can I bring you a fiver another time, I got no change on me (brilliant!)
- Forget it, keep the change, we've been through a lot you and I because of the Laundry Idiot.
So £5 poorer, I ran and caught the 8:14 train and thankfully I was at work on time.
Around 4 pm I started praying ''please God, let there be no guests tonight, I can't take it''.
I couldn't take it. I felt so exhausted that I couldn't even bear the thought of entertaining three guests. And just when I finished praying, a message dinged on my mobile.
It was my nephew.
Letting me know that the girls could not make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to scream from joy!!! God showed pity on me and fulfilled my wish.
Apparently one of the girls couldn't afford the trip to London because she had to pay £1,500 on mobile charges! WTF? And LOOOOOL!
How can you get £1,500 mobile bill? Was she calling China and talking for hours? She's only been in the UK for four months. I really pity her parents.
Anywho, yesterday nephew and I went to Chinatown for a nice chinese dinner and we came home to watch a DVD. Halfway through the movie, I fell asleep... Total bliss...
So not much to rant....yet. We'll see how the next days will go, as my beloved sibling arrives with lots planned, to drive me crazy!
Tomorrow morning is early wake up (on my precious Sunday) and a bit more cleaning, refreshing and de-smelling before HRH comes.
Get ready for some real rants!!!!
It's Saturday night, and while London is swinging and buzzing, I am home alone with my laptop, in my very clean house ready to rant.
The story of the laundry continued yesterday morning, when it was around 7:55 and my laundry hadn't arrived yet. On the laundry's card there were 3 mobile phone numbers so I decided to dial the first one. Immediately I was greeted by Ray. I wanted to ask him if he found out whether the other lady had confessed that she had indeed company on Wednesday night, but I opted-in to just give him my name and explain the situation.
He recognised me and informed me that the delivery guy has been waiting outside the block of flats, not knowing which door to ring for half an hour, as the Laundry Idiot hadn't written down my flat number.
Why was I not surprised? I ran to the window and saw him waiting outside, so I buzzed him in. I finally got my laundry back and I gave him the money which was £25, but I had only £30 on me.
- Can I bring you a fiver another time, I got no change on me (brilliant!)
- Forget it, keep the change, we've been through a lot you and I because of the Laundry Idiot.
So £5 poorer, I ran and caught the 8:14 train and thankfully I was at work on time.
Around 4 pm I started praying ''please God, let there be no guests tonight, I can't take it''.
I couldn't take it. I felt so exhausted that I couldn't even bear the thought of entertaining three guests. And just when I finished praying, a message dinged on my mobile.
It was my nephew.
Letting me know that the girls could not make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to scream from joy!!! God showed pity on me and fulfilled my wish.
Apparently one of the girls couldn't afford the trip to London because she had to pay £1,500 on mobile charges! WTF? And LOOOOOL!
How can you get £1,500 mobile bill? Was she calling China and talking for hours? She's only been in the UK for four months. I really pity her parents.
Anywho, yesterday nephew and I went to Chinatown for a nice chinese dinner and we came home to watch a DVD. Halfway through the movie, I fell asleep... Total bliss...
So not much to rant....yet. We'll see how the next days will go, as my beloved sibling arrives with lots planned, to drive me crazy!
Tomorrow morning is early wake up (on my precious Sunday) and a bit more cleaning, refreshing and de-smelling before HRH comes.
Get ready for some real rants!!!!
Friday 14 January 2011
They are all doing it on purpose!
Today was a normal day at work and everything was quiet.
(Very rare phenomenon!). I was mainly in the office dealing with emails (deja-voodoo!) and yes, if you're asking I replied to more than 30 emails today!!!
So, as work was ok, I will take this luxurious opportunity to rant about...
(Very rare phenomenon!). I was mainly in the office dealing with emails (deja-voodoo!) and yes, if you're asking I replied to more than 30 emails today!!!
So, as work was ok, I will take this luxurious opportunity to rant about...
EVERYTHING ELSE
Story No: 1 - The Laundry Idiot.
Quite like the village idiot, but with the purpose of making me a nervous wreck.
My sister is coming next Sunday and for a whole week, (I adore my sister, but I could write a whole blog just for her) and this means spring-cleaning, redecorating, re-upholstering, renovating and if possible removing my whole flat.
She is (or thinks she is) like Madame Pompadour. She hates my area (it is to be truthful a bit dodgy) and she is very judgmental of the way I live, act etc. and most of all how clean is my house (it's fecking spotless!), why I don't have enough heat, why the curtains are hung like this and so many more.
So for at least one month I am cleaning, refreshing, spraying, fixing every nook and cranny in the house. I bought two new heaters so she won't be cold and she won't make my life difficult with her insulting comments. I washed all the bedlinen and because I have no time to iron (also I hate it) on Monday I took them round the corner to be ironed, they really do a splendid job.
Here is the scenery:
- Hello I have these bedlinen which need ironing. Could you please deliver them on Wednesday or Thursday when I start work late? I took out my schedule and showed it to him, so we decided which day was the best to deliver them. We discussed it for about 10 minutes, honestly!
- No problem, please give me your details.
- These are my details...
I watched the guy writing down my details and I nearly choked when I saw the way he wrote my number. He was putting a hyphen - every three numbers and the whole number didn't fit the line and he had to go underneath. I started worrying a bit so I repeated:
- Please make sure they are delivered Wednesday or Thursday. Give me a call first so I know.
- No problem.
I sure hoped there wouldn't be one and I left.
Yesterday passed...nothing. I couldn't stop by because I would miss my train.
Today I was waiting for them for the whole morning. Idiot as I am myself, I didn't have their phone number (big mistake,never again)
So I went to see them on my way to the train. I left plenty of time so that I could catch my train, it was 10:10 and my train was leaving at 10:30. And lo and behold, what was sitting next to the door, neatly ironed and packed? Yes, you guessed it, my laundry!!!
I said to myself to be calm and not punch the guy who was ready to go out and have a fag, and I asked why my laundry hadn't been delivered as promised.
He started rummaging through his papers and at the end he had the nerve to tell me:
- Did we arrange delivery?
- No, I just wanted to show you my busy schedule, just for kicks.
Story 2: The Laundry Gossiper
At that precious moment, a lady comes out and understands what has happened and she was very embarrassed, I thought that she would smack the guy on the head.
The problem was that tomorrow I have to leave the house at 7:45 to get to work at 9 am.
So the only time the laundry can be delivered is before 7:45, which looked like a problem to her as the store opens at 8 am. I literally live around the corner from their store, they can come, drop the things off and go to open the store (and if I'm cheeky maybe also give me a lift?)
However, this looked like a mission impossible to her. She picks up her phone and calls a man called Ray and while she was talking to him about me, she started arguing with him about someone coming to her place the previous night, and 'no, I was alone, no-one came' and this went on for about 5 minutes. The time was now 10:25 and I was ready to explode! I was pretty sure that I was going to miss my train. Talk about customer service!
In the meantime, the Laundry Idiot had gone out for a fag! He had done the dirty deed and he didn't give a fuck about me, the store, the whole damn world!!!
Finally, it was arranged for tomorrow morning. By the time she hung up and took my details again (she had a look at the Idiot's scribbling and her eyes popped out of their sockets) it was 10:32 and I had missed my train. Which concluded in me getting a taxi from the station to go to work. Which concluded in me paying through the nose for travel I get for free with my weekly travelcard, because of the incompetency of the Laundry Arseholes.
Will tweet if my laundry comes or not tomorrow....
Story 3: The Three Guests.
I am having guests tomorrow. OH,YES I AM!
I knew that my nephew, who studies here was coming from Friday. I like him a lot and we have lots of fun when we are together but today he had a nasty surprise for me.
He sent me a message to call him about a request for the weekend.
O-oh, I thought, this can never be good.
So I dialed his number with shaky hands and the request was that he wants to bring along two friends (girls) whom I've never met, seen before in my life, and apparently for one of them neither has he.
Now, I am a softy and cannot say no, but that meant:
- Prepare two bedrooms and three beds with my (yet to be delivered) clean and fresh-smelling laundry
- Sleep on the sofa, as the two girls will be sleeping in my double bed and I had not to disturb them when I leave the house for work the next morning.
- Buy snacks and drinks, as I want to be the hostess with the mostest and be nice to the girls.
- Sleep late tomorrow as they would probably want to watch DVD's until dawn and the player is in the living room.
- My nephew sort-of dictated to me that I should have my clothes for the next day ready, as I shouldn't go in MY room, where they will be sleeping, to get ready for work
- Most importantly, would have to clean and air the house once more before my sister comes on Sunday, as the girls, the nephew (and probably myself) are all smokers and my sister isn't and she complains constantly about the smell....
Saturday wake up, put the house and myself on mute (toilet flush seems a bit of a problem because when it flushes the whole neighbourhood can hear it), get ready, go to work, deal with more issues, come back, clean, cook, clean more, air the house, spray house deodorant and probably empty a whole bottle of my precious diptyque house fragrance, and after all that, collapse!!!
My relatives, co-workers and the whole damn Universe don't want me to relax. For some reason they are doing it on purpose!
I apologise for the very long post, but it feels so incredible just to write all this down and get it off my chest and to my blog.
Rest assured, with such an adventurous forth-night, there will be plenty to RANT about!
Thursday 13 January 2011
15 is not a magic number
The story from yesterday continues...
It was a bad day, but today was even worse.
Yesterday I was on the shop floor and because I went through a cold/sore throat/misery last week, I was coughing. Sometimes in a usual "cough-cough" way and sometimes with loud coughy sounds. About an hour later I receive an email from one of the managers that I need to go and see her (all my managers are female and by the way, much younger than me).
So I go to see her and she tells me that she had two complaints that my cough was very loud and disturbing other people, customers, passers by, the homeless hobo outside the store etc.
WTF????? I was coughing not farting!
Therefore I was asked politely to go to one of the offices (so now they give me office time!) and deal with emails. Fair enough, I go to the office and start dealing with the emails, total 28. That was a fair number, I was probably going to finish all of them.
FAIL! Before lunchtime I had only dealt with three. They were complicated, with obscure requests, with me going back and forth to the customer's accounts to see their activities, to read other colleagues notes, to liaise with managers and so on.
By 5 o'clock I had dealt with 10 and because I was finishing by 5:30 I dealt with five more easier ones and I left. (The good thing with my job is that when it's time to finish, you finish. Unless you are a manager, hehe).
Cue today.
Our Area Manager is usually a softy. Very nice and understanding to all of us. I don't know what got into her today and she took me aside and started talking to me about me coughing and me smoking, and how I should quit smoking because it affects my health. (Like hell I am going to quit! I am VERY stressed to give up on ciggies now). So far so good. I was nodding, sometimes agreeing, sometimes debating. Nothing much.
Until she asked me the crucial question: (we'll call her Not Always Softy Area Manager)
NASAM: How many emails did you do yesterday?
ME: 15... (waiting for the worst to come of course)
NASAM: That's nothing. Why so few?
ME: Erm... They were quite complicated...
(Parenthesis: I am very good at responding to emails. My emails have won commendations, have become into templates for others to use and when everyone had to send their emails to the managers to be proof-read, I was the only one who didn't have to do this. And yesterday I was not copying and pasting from other templates, but I was writing from scratch each answer, as many requests were unique-never-seen-before requests - end of parenthesis).
So NASAM takes me inside the office (there's that fecking office again) and we go through the emails, one-by-one and she was reading each and every one of my replies.
NASAM: That doesn't look complicated - that is copy and paste (huh?) - that's the same with the other one (ok, one!) - ok that's a bit more complicated - there you wrote extra things the customer didn't ask you for (fec-xcuse me for going the extra mile for the customer) - this is easy - this is shit - this is bollocks.
One by one she found them easy and not so complicated, she only found two that in her opinion were the more complicated ones.
(Second parenthesis - each email takes at least 10-15 mins to deal with, and these are the easy ones. The more complicated ones might take half an hour, an hour or even days to complete. The procedure is: copy customer's info like email, phone numbers etc. on the database, format the email to standard Arial 10, delete or change all other messages if another dept. has forwarded the email, change subject title, deal with customer's request, reply to the customer, proof-read, send and leave detailed note on their account - phew! - end of second and, I promise, last parenthesis)
NASAM told me that this was a very disappointing number and I should improve my productivity. I wanted to cry. I told her that I wasn't just sitting in that office doing nothing, honest to God these emails had a lot of work on them. Her reply was to lower my voice so that I don't create a scene...
My biggest problem with this job is: WHAT MORE CAN I GIVE? I am doing beyond my best, beyond 100%, beyond my strengths. I am fully dedicated, a soldier, a robot, a bleeding worker. I am committed and responsible, I am not a silly young girl who does this job as a springboard, I love my job, but I would like a bit of understanding and recognition.
After a long, unfulfilling day - yes! in the office again because of my coughing - I was dealing with enrollments and emails today, all together - I will see the results of my performance tomorrow - all I need is to come home, light a cigarette ( :P ) and RANT!
It was a bad day, but today was even worse.
Yesterday I was on the shop floor and because I went through a cold/sore throat/misery last week, I was coughing. Sometimes in a usual "cough-cough" way and sometimes with loud coughy sounds. About an hour later I receive an email from one of the managers that I need to go and see her (all my managers are female and by the way, much younger than me).
So I go to see her and she tells me that she had two complaints that my cough was very loud and disturbing other people, customers, passers by, the homeless hobo outside the store etc.
WTF????? I was coughing not farting!
Therefore I was asked politely to go to one of the offices (so now they give me office time!) and deal with emails. Fair enough, I go to the office and start dealing with the emails, total 28. That was a fair number, I was probably going to finish all of them.
FAIL! Before lunchtime I had only dealt with three. They were complicated, with obscure requests, with me going back and forth to the customer's accounts to see their activities, to read other colleagues notes, to liaise with managers and so on.
By 5 o'clock I had dealt with 10 and because I was finishing by 5:30 I dealt with five more easier ones and I left. (The good thing with my job is that when it's time to finish, you finish. Unless you are a manager, hehe).
Cue today.
Our Area Manager is usually a softy. Very nice and understanding to all of us. I don't know what got into her today and she took me aside and started talking to me about me coughing and me smoking, and how I should quit smoking because it affects my health. (Like hell I am going to quit! I am VERY stressed to give up on ciggies now). So far so good. I was nodding, sometimes agreeing, sometimes debating. Nothing much.
Until she asked me the crucial question: (we'll call her Not Always Softy Area Manager)
NASAM: How many emails did you do yesterday?
ME: 15... (waiting for the worst to come of course)
NASAM: That's nothing. Why so few?
ME: Erm... They were quite complicated...
(Parenthesis: I am very good at responding to emails. My emails have won commendations, have become into templates for others to use and when everyone had to send their emails to the managers to be proof-read, I was the only one who didn't have to do this. And yesterday I was not copying and pasting from other templates, but I was writing from scratch each answer, as many requests were unique-never-seen-before requests - end of parenthesis).
So NASAM takes me inside the office (there's that fecking office again) and we go through the emails, one-by-one and she was reading each and every one of my replies.
NASAM: That doesn't look complicated - that is copy and paste (huh?) - that's the same with the other one (ok, one!) - ok that's a bit more complicated - there you wrote extra things the customer didn't ask you for (fec-xcuse me for going the extra mile for the customer) - this is easy - this is shit - this is bollocks.
One by one she found them easy and not so complicated, she only found two that in her opinion were the more complicated ones.
(Second parenthesis - each email takes at least 10-15 mins to deal with, and these are the easy ones. The more complicated ones might take half an hour, an hour or even days to complete. The procedure is: copy customer's info like email, phone numbers etc. on the database, format the email to standard Arial 10, delete or change all other messages if another dept. has forwarded the email, change subject title, deal with customer's request, reply to the customer, proof-read, send and leave detailed note on their account - phew! - end of second and, I promise, last parenthesis)
NASAM told me that this was a very disappointing number and I should improve my productivity. I wanted to cry. I told her that I wasn't just sitting in that office doing nothing, honest to God these emails had a lot of work on them. Her reply was to lower my voice so that I don't create a scene...
My biggest problem with this job is: WHAT MORE CAN I GIVE? I am doing beyond my best, beyond 100%, beyond my strengths. I am fully dedicated, a soldier, a robot, a bleeding worker. I am committed and responsible, I am not a silly young girl who does this job as a springboard, I love my job, but I would like a bit of understanding and recognition.
After a long, unfulfilling day - yes! in the office again because of my coughing - I was dealing with enrollments and emails today, all together - I will see the results of my performance tomorrow - all I need is to come home, light a cigarette ( :P ) and RANT!
Wednesday 12 January 2011
Sucker of the month
Call me a bit vain, but today I was really pissed off for not getting Employee of the month at work. I was ok with my colleague who got it, however, let me rant!
I have been the trainer of this department for the last four years. Every new member has been trained by me. A few months ago and while my Area Manager was on maternity leave, they hired a Project Manager (we'll call her BB, the Big Bitch) who wanted to divide and conquer, so one of the first things she did, accompanied by one of the departments' Managers (we'll call her LB, the Little Bitch)
was to take me to the office and take away my position as trainer. The reason? No attention to detail...
- 'The training modules are full of mistakes', said LB. - Well excuuuuse me! Gimme the friggin' time to update them and they will be as good as new! I'm up to my arse in workload and you keep putting off the office time to update them, what the hell do you expect from me? To do them in my sleep?
-'You don't follow up your training' said BB. - pardon? I don't follow up? Erm, you just dropped in from Mars and you know what I've been doing the last four years? Not only I follow up, but I keep on asking, sending emails, make suggestions, keep an eye on new recruits and I update the Managers with the progress.
After a loooot of debating, BB decided to stop me from being trainer for a few months and not to touch the modules until that time. As you can imagine, the updates and the new procedures snowballed in the meantime and when it was time to update them again it took me hours. Precious hours of my own time, at home, at breaks, in between customers... I did it anyway. The modules have been updated. The good news is BB is no longer responsible for our area, our Area Manager has come back and life is (kinda) back to normal.
Meanwhile, I also produced two more things - while being on the shopfloor and serving crazy custys and being extremely busy!
One thing was a PowerPoint presentation of all new promotions in our area, something that I will update every month (and believe me, we have a lot of promotions in our area), which looks and acts like a website - everybody's jaw dropped when they saw it.
And just before the rotting Sale started, LB (who now tries to be nice) asked me to do a mini manual for people in other areas of the company, in case they needed to help us. Fair enough, will you gimme some time in the office to do it?
NOOOO, of course not! You'll become an octopus, with eight hands, eight brains and eight eyes and you'll do it while serving customers, answering phones, replying to emails, registering new customers, training the new girl and by the way, we need 25 things to be explained in the manual and you have one week to finish it....
And so I did. Exactly as described above. The little mutant octopus in me came out and I finished the damn thing, with lots of never discussed before material, screen shots, photoshops, drawings, index tables and all that one day before the blasted deadline.
In the meantime, excellent customer service, and me always chirpy, smiling, tireless, positive, adaptable, flexible, calm, philosophical...
Jaws dropped again. 'Well done, Ranteuse, very impressive'
Bollocks.
It was forgotten the next hour. And so was my promotions presentation. I did all that for fuck all. I had heard a slip of the tongue from one of the managers though that I had been nominated for employee of the month.
So I waited with anticipation for today. Not that it would mean anything more, you get a ridiculous £10 voucher, but who doesn't like a bit of public recognition for their hard work?
As I said, I was happy for my colleague, who is one of my favourite people in the department, but it was quite anti-climactic, let-down and a bit of a bombshell for all this trauma and trouble I've been through. Not even a mention (like when they give the honourary Oscars to someone who's never won a real one, you know!)
That's why this blog has been born. As I can't say it to their faces, at least I can come here and RANT!!!!
Because, believe me, nothing feels better than a big ol' rant after a hellish day.
I have been the trainer of this department for the last four years. Every new member has been trained by me. A few months ago and while my Area Manager was on maternity leave, they hired a Project Manager (we'll call her BB, the Big Bitch) who wanted to divide and conquer, so one of the first things she did, accompanied by one of the departments' Managers (we'll call her LB, the Little Bitch)
was to take me to the office and take away my position as trainer. The reason? No attention to detail...
- 'The training modules are full of mistakes', said LB. - Well excuuuuse me! Gimme the friggin' time to update them and they will be as good as new! I'm up to my arse in workload and you keep putting off the office time to update them, what the hell do you expect from me? To do them in my sleep?
-'You don't follow up your training' said BB. - pardon? I don't follow up? Erm, you just dropped in from Mars and you know what I've been doing the last four years? Not only I follow up, but I keep on asking, sending emails, make suggestions, keep an eye on new recruits and I update the Managers with the progress.
After a loooot of debating, BB decided to stop me from being trainer for a few months and not to touch the modules until that time. As you can imagine, the updates and the new procedures snowballed in the meantime and when it was time to update them again it took me hours. Precious hours of my own time, at home, at breaks, in between customers... I did it anyway. The modules have been updated. The good news is BB is no longer responsible for our area, our Area Manager has come back and life is (kinda) back to normal.
Meanwhile, I also produced two more things - while being on the shopfloor and serving crazy custys and being extremely busy!
One thing was a PowerPoint presentation of all new promotions in our area, something that I will update every month (and believe me, we have a lot of promotions in our area), which looks and acts like a website - everybody's jaw dropped when they saw it.
And just before the rotting Sale started, LB (who now tries to be nice) asked me to do a mini manual for people in other areas of the company, in case they needed to help us. Fair enough, will you gimme some time in the office to do it?
NOOOO, of course not! You'll become an octopus, with eight hands, eight brains and eight eyes and you'll do it while serving customers, answering phones, replying to emails, registering new customers, training the new girl and by the way, we need 25 things to be explained in the manual and you have one week to finish it....
And so I did. Exactly as described above. The little mutant octopus in me came out and I finished the damn thing, with lots of never discussed before material, screen shots, photoshops, drawings, index tables and all that one day before the blasted deadline.
In the meantime, excellent customer service, and me always chirpy, smiling, tireless, positive, adaptable, flexible, calm, philosophical...
Jaws dropped again. 'Well done, Ranteuse, very impressive'
Bollocks.
It was forgotten the next hour. And so was my promotions presentation. I did all that for fuck all. I had heard a slip of the tongue from one of the managers though that I had been nominated for employee of the month.
So I waited with anticipation for today. Not that it would mean anything more, you get a ridiculous £10 voucher, but who doesn't like a bit of public recognition for their hard work?
As I said, I was happy for my colleague, who is one of my favourite people in the department, but it was quite anti-climactic, let-down and a bit of a bombshell for all this trauma and trouble I've been through. Not even a mention (like when they give the honourary Oscars to someone who's never won a real one, you know!)
That's why this blog has been born. As I can't say it to their faces, at least I can come here and RANT!!!!
Because, believe me, nothing feels better than a big ol' rant after a hellish day.
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